then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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