Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
