WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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