at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
