atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
