turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
