Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
