What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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