I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
