i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
