So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
