I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
