I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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