i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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