i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
