I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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