I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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