sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
