If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Drunk is not a location!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
