Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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