Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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