I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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