I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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