At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
