So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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