you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
