There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
