Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
