It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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