yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was confusing and full of hummus
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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