is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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