I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
