Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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