Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
