i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
