New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
