Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
