Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
