If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
