i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
