he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize