I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
