yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
