Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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