They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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