Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
