You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Randomize
