I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
