worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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