guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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