Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
